Ep #94: Never Split the Difference with Chris Voss

We’ve got a really fascinating guest this week: Chris Voss, former FBI hostage negotiator and author of the book Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It.

Chris is the founder and CEO of The Black Swan Group, which applies the lessons he’s learned as one of the world’s top negotiation experts to business communications. Chris and his team train individuals and businesses in negotiation and consult with clients on their unique situations.

Chris is here to talk about negotiation tactics that can be applied in any area of life, from business to personal relationships alike. He talks about why it’s crucial not to think of negotiating as trying to win, as well as some of his other top tips honed from years on the job. He also shares how he applies his techniques to find a happy solution for both parties in a negotiation and debunks some long-held ideas about getting people to see your perspective.

This episode is chock-full of excellent advice for your life and business. Make sure to listen in!

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Minute Markers:

2:33 – Why Chris decided to write Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It.
4:16 – How negotiation tactics can be useful in daily life.
5:11 – The “art of listening” and how it can make you a better negotiator.
8:40 – What Chris defines as “black swans” and how he listens for them.
11:08 – Why we want the person we’re talking with to say “that’s right” rather than “you’re right”.
15:13 – How to get your counterpart to say “that’s right”.
17:55 – The critical role of empathy in negotiation.
21:12 – Why getting someone to say “yes” can actually cause your negotiation to backfire.
25:45 – Chris’s concept of “accusation audit” as a negotiation tool.
28:42 – Why calling out negative feelings can help dissolve them.
20:41 – The question you should ask over and over again when negotiating.
33:33 – The best way to apply Chris’s techniques to your everyday life.